Fat Like Me
I've been visiting my mom over the Easter weekend. Okay yes I realize Easter weekend is over, but, I am being held hostage by the body shop that is working on my car. My mother owns a boutique in town and I like to work for her. It's fun most of her customers are super nice and they all have such a good time looking for clothes this doesn't seem like work. However, women can not compliment themselves. With every item they try on they nit-pick there bodies. I am not a small woman, I am not grossly obese- however, I really need to lose weight. But I start wondering if these women who are much smaller than me think so harshly of themselves what can they be saying about me?
I guess it doesn't help that all I do at mom's is eat. We have dinners and get togethers because my family doesn't get to see each often, snack over a game of gin rummy and just graze while we chit-chat. I think I have gained ten pounds being here alone. Trying on clothes in sizes that normally fit me and then them not is really depressing. I guess I am just having a good body image day, in the since that I hate myself for gaining so much weight. I don't really understand why I fluctuate so much, some days I don't look too big then days like today I just feel like a blimp. It's sad, especially when everyone else around you is trim and in shape. I feel like their all thinking, "wow she really gained weight since high school!"
But here's the thing I really like myself, I understand that I will always have a bit of chub on me. It's genetics, I'm built like my dad, short and stocky. And even my mom who is much smaller than me has to fight to keep her jean size. I love my life and I am happy most of the days. It's just days like today when I think, geez I look horrible that get me down. Does anyone else ever feel like that?
If these women who are still to this day regarded as sexy and beautiful could embrace there curves, do I have the courage to do the same? I hope so... if any of you read this and have any comments of a time you've had to slim down I would love to read about it!
Are these women attractive? I think that women are supposed to be curvy, but the word fat is a word that makes me flinch. Are the women below fat? Are they beautiful? Or are they just real and we should stop comparing ourselves to some photoshopped anorexic model?
Hug and Fluff-
Stephanie
I know exactly what you mean! Ever since I have had kids I constantly struggle with body issues. I gained 65 pounds with both pregnancies and literally hated myself for it. It doesn't help that I am constantly reminded how much better I used to look because living back at home people continually judge me and enjoy the fact that I have out on weight. I would love to loose about 10 more pounds, but I know that I need to be happy where I am because I have lost all the baby weight, I am just chasing the unrealistic high school jeans dream :( Plus I have to remind myself the age and pregnancy changes your body forever! Things are just not going to look the same. I also think women are supposed to be curvy and men think so too. I think if women would just quit obsessing over photoshopped models than we could all be a lot happier. A funny side note: We don't say the word "fat" in my house. It is regarded as just a dirty work as f*ck lol.
ReplyDeleteyeah i don't like that word either! it's funny though some times i do really good with body image and working out then other days i am just horrible!! one day at a time though i guess! i am always chasing the high school jean dream too, i have a pair in my closet i look at them from time to time- when i am cleaning or reorganizing and i think to myself, "and i thought i was fat then too." guess we're never happy! it was great seeing you the other day by the way!
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